@shakespeareandsunshine You´re writing style’s fluently and strong. I know what your character thinks by just showing the other persons appearance. But I don’t get what your story should be about. It’s just my opinion but you should build a hint in, perhaps.
You used ballroom twice in a sentence: “(…), garnished and sent into the ballroom through the swinging black doors into the ballroom.” That doesn’t sound nice. Anyway, a really nice beginning.
@liannesimon I’m not sure what your story’s about. I believe she’s going to a party but you don’t say so, but maybe you should that the audience isn’t as confused as I am. You have a vein for describing and showing things, that covers that nothing’s really happening.