@downeynl The feeling´s so dark! I like the tension and the conflict he´s in smacks you right in the face. But I also think that the beginning´s lightly confusing. You begin with a feeling more than an action but I think it will be more interesting if you would begin with an action. Maybe the finger´s flexing at the beginning or where he is at the moment. Yeah, maybe one of the two last paragraphs would be better at the beginning.
So he´s the one who decide if she´ll live or die? Very interesting.