Thanks guys! I’ll definitely think about leading with an action. While I really like my first sentence, the first couple of paragraphs have always been lacking in my mind.
@Fabienne I love how with your first 250 words we really get a sense of how your story is dystopian. And I love your Tele-Walls! So perfect. And I agree with Chiaki, you do a great job of displaying your MC’s personality.
The only suggestions I have are grammatical ones (which aren’t really a big deal, but I know you’ve mentioned wanting help with correcting stuff like that). So for example, “It wasn´t avoidable” could be changed to “It was unavoidable.”, stuff like that.
@Chiaki Share your first 250 words! I’d love to read them =)