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Re: First draft ”Taking over Helix” snippet

Home / Forums / List of Forums / Science Fiction & Fantasy / First draft ”Taking over Helix” snippet / Re: First draft ”Taking over Helix” snippet

#5561

stephonavich
Participant

I like it! You’ve certainly come further with this scene.

This sentence:

“I know this may be in part because I am the first woman to lead in the history of Helix,”

feels a little bit heavy handed to me–however if the story is about inequality or if it’s very relevant then I would keep it.

That’s my two cents. Yes, you have some misspellings but I’ve noticed it getting better due to practice! Keep writing! I want to see more of the story.