Re: First Page



I’m going to comment as if this was the opening to a regular novel (not journal style, because I honestly know nothing about it).

This opening is a classic info-dump. You touched on it in your comment when you said it was ‘too much at once’. Certainly, this info is important and the reader does need to know it, but the trick is to spread it in bits and pieces throughout your ms.

Start where the action starts. Start where your MC does something/has something happen to them and everything changes. Or where everything gets set into motion. Work all the info-dump/backstory in later.