@lyrwriter I can’t believe you conveyed so much mystery in just ten words. I already have a feeling for setting/character/questions.
@kaylinn57 I get the feeling this is a 14-16 year old girl, and there is some element of the paranormal/fantasy. Is the ring special? I have a feeling it’s about to cause her some trouble.
I also have a feel for the character’s voice here, with just one crit: I had a little mental stumble between “mother’s” and “meltdown” (lots of ms in their, and I get tongue-tied quite easily, so it could just be me).
Great thread, here. Really makes me rethink my first line, which has been the first line since I first started putting ink to paper for this WIP. The second character’s reply really does more for setting/tension, so perhaps somehow I should reverse them.
As it currently stands, this is it:
“Come on, Will,” shouted Marcus as he walked out onto the fallen tree.