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Re: First Sentences

Home / Forums / List of Forums / Young Adult / First Sentences / Re: First Sentences

#4458

kaylinn57
Participant

@jessicafriday: Thanks for note. Yep, it’s a fantasy story, with a bit of a twist. The ring is quite special, and I’m glad my protagonist’s voice comes through. The age guess was almost spot on too. She’s supposed to be 17.

In response to your first line, it feels a little, hmm, okay. The walking out onto the fallen tree makes it interesting, but I think there could be a little more spice added. I’d really like to see the second character’s line to see if it adds that little bit of extra that would make the opening really grab the reader.