Home / Forums / List of Forums / Young Adult / First Sentences / Re: First Sentences

Re: First Sentences

Home / Forums / List of Forums / Young Adult / First Sentences / Re: First Sentences

#4468

Tracy Rohlfing
Participant

@shakespeare I like it a lot. Though I’m not sure about starting w/ a question. I know they’re not entirely taboo but they can kind of fall into a gray area. I sometimes think statements are more powerful. “I hate the sharp smell of hospitals”. But you know your story and what you’re going for. If you l<3ve it, stick w/ it. I agree w/ @jessicafriday ~ like the bandaid comment 😉

@downeynl
I think you only need to subtract a couple words and then flip flop one and it’s golden. Maybe something like this? My comma might be misplaced. Just a suggestion.

“I know I’ll regret this… I’ve barely stepped from the dumpsters shadow and still, I know.”

As always, If this wasn’t helpful ~ disreguard. 🙂

Oh and thnx for the feed back @monicasanz ! 🙂