There are just too many to respond to all of you guys, so I’ll just say that I liked most of yours. I personally liked the first sentence about Em as it is. As I was going through all of my stories, I realized I suck at first sentences! lol. Actually, I just prefer not to give all the information away at once. (And in non-fiction, I suck at thesis statements).
Look at the Stars: “My freshman year was hell.”
Phoenix Academy Prologue: “The darkness fell like shadows behind bright comets of fire.”
Phoenix Academy: “Alex made her way up the hundred stairs to the entrance of Phoenix Academy.”
Sleeping With Wolves: “The wolves’ howls pierce the air, giving an eerie echo to the farms and fields of farmers near Valentine, Nebraska.”
Abstinence from the Eyes of a Slut: “When I was younger, abstinence was never going to be a problem – not in my mind.”
The Agency–Gwedian: “Her white, waste-length hair flew behind her as her tiny feet hit the grass lawn.”
The Agency–Drake: “It’s so loud here.”
I have more, but these are the ones I’ve been working on. And yes, they are all aimed at the YA crowd. For the most part anyway. The Agency books could go either way. One or two of those might be pretty decent. Like Gwedian’s and the prologue for Phoenix Academy.