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Re: First Sentences

Home / Forums / List of Forums / Young Adult / First Sentences / Re: First Sentences

#4449

nefaerious
Participant

@Tracy- I think you have a great first sentence. It immediately makes me want to know more, know where Em is coming from and where she’s going.

@Jenn- I love that you set up fantasy right out of the gate! It’s my favorite genre to read;). I do agree with Heidi in that it gets a bit wordy in that one section. Maybe try something like: …and was therefore unsurprised to find herself in another one. The “yet” is optional. It works fine with it left in, but also works without it. AND, you make me want to know Arianna’s story..(I have a daughter named Aryanna, too, so double bonus on character naming:)

@Heidi- Awesome!I wouldn’t change a thing.