Re: Looking for some honest truth

#5972

jhiam
Participant

Okay, so did quite a bit of tweaking, so here we go.

Set in eighteenth century England, Shaun and Jane have a somewhat forbidden relationship. Shaun runs a tavern, planning to take over the business when his father passes. Jane comes from a long line of lawyers, and her father is no exception.
Jane’s father makes it very clear that no daughter of his will be marrying anything less than a well-to-do doctor, so the young couple keep their love out of sight from her parents. Her parents just wanted her to be happy and taken care of, but Jane doesn’t see that. She just sees how in love she is with Shaun.
He had captured her heart just like she had captured his.
They decide to run away together, but their lives take a nasty turn when a portal opens in the meadow and a band of blood-thirsty pirates kidnap Jane, leaving Shaun for dead.
Shaun vows to find Jane by any means necessary. Finding his own portal to run through, he finds himself in the company of a barkeep, a crippled war veteran, and a crew of drunk lowlifes in the strange dimension known as Kosmo.
Jane must deal with rude pirates, a stubborn captain, and a first mate who helplessly tries to win her affection. Confined to the ship and left with no hope of ever seeing Shaun again, she carves her own place in Kosmo.

Was that better? I’ve always had a problem with overexplaining my story ideas, so I’m trying to find the perfect middle where I can share just enough of the story for it to make sense and sound appealing, but not give away everything.