I just joined this website, so I need to stress that I have ZERO experience with critique.
I think your novel sounds interesting and right up my alley as something I would enjoy reading.
However, while I can certainly help with the tense, there is something I need to share about my view on POV.
I personally love a story told with multiple POV’s if it is done well. Novels told in this way rank among my favorites. I am sincere, however, when I tell you I believe I can help you no matter what POV format you are aiming for.
POV is something very much on my mind, and I have been banging my head endlessly about it.
Not because I don’t understand it, but because I know that my choice is no longer considered acceptable for new authors in the literary world, even though top authors use it.
I love it so much that I decided to take a chance and use it anyway. My biggest concern with my multiple POV use is that it is done well, and not jarring.
Note: I don’t always use multiple POV…just where I believe it makes the story richer.
Spending so much time considering my POV choice, has made me extremely aware of it….in everything, and sometimes to my dismay! LOL!
So I do believe I can help you, and hopefully we can help each other.
I just wanted to lay it out there though, in case the fact that I am using mulitple POV bothers you or makes you hesitate. So there it is 🙂
FYI- I’m pretty proud of my first query (which has yet to be sent out, since I am still revising my novel). IMHO it sounds very professional, but I would love to get another writer’s view on it.
Also, I am looking for critique in the same areas you are.
My romance novel takes place in medieval Scotland, and contains humor, action, and suspense, as well as passion.
And that is definitely not my Query!
Hope to hear from you either way!