I absolutely love the premise. It sounds like there’ll be a lot of quirky, humorous, conflict-creating interactions between Calder and the narrator.
Bless you for having the guts to throw this out there. Queries are the worst — so much info in so few words. But I assume you’re putting it out there for suggestions!
This sentence, to me, seems slightly vague: “Now Calder’s story is no longer what it seems.” Is Calder’s role in the story no longer certain? Is the story not what it seemed before? Very nitpicky here, though.
The only other thing that hung me up was when ‘Pennington’ jumps in. I get from context that he’s the narrator, but since ‘author’ is thrown in there, I reread it a few times before it sank into my brain. This could very possibly just be me.
But all-in-all a great query sample. I especially loved the last sentence (“Losing his sense of…”). Very strong — and this is a book I would be very interested in reading, btw.