Re: Queries

#4390

Tracy Rohlfing
Participant

@jenn I’m really curious to see how this reads. It sounds really interesting. I keep imagining the bugs bunny cartoon where daffyduck is arguing w/ the artist and the artist gradually starts erasing his feet, replacing them w/ stems then draws a flower around his head, making him a flower that walks on all fours.
I didn’t make the pennington connection w/ the narrator at first either.

@lyrwriter Your first paragraph is so clear and smooth but then something with your second doesn’t flow. It might be that I’ve been up since 4:30.
It feels like a lot is going on in the 2nd paragraph, lots of info. It’s like it needs a break. I’m no expert ( no where near). But maybe you can break it down into 2 paragraphs? All I know is I had to read it twice to absorb everything – but I got it after that. It sounds like a great story, I love all things magic. Oh and I know your word is “spelling” but when I got to “spelling training” it read a little clunky.
I hope this was helpful. If not, disreguard. 🙂
Is this middle grade or YA?