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Re: Romance! Snippets from your WIP?

Home / Forums / List of Forums / Romance / Romance! Snippets from your WIP? / Re: Romance! Snippets from your WIP?

#4676

Dawn
Participant

I startled at the voice, shocked for two reasons: 1) someone was actually talking to me—the invisible obstacle—and 2) that I had dropped my pen. I never drop my pen. I was shocked for a third reason when I turned around and saw one of the hottest guys I had ever seen holding up my pen with a very amused smile.

Face just seemed awkward. I worked on this a little bit last night and actually colored it red, because all I had changed was “startled” from what it was, but it still didn’t seem right. Now it’s a little bit better 🙂 Thoughts? Especially about “face.” Should I keep “smile” as “face”?