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Re: Romance! Snippets from your WIP?

Home / Forums / List of Forums / Romance / Romance! Snippets from your WIP? / Re: Romance! Snippets from your WIP?

#4684

pyewacket75
Participant

Okay ladies, this is a snippet from my romance fic that’s set back in 1886. Duke is a doctor from 2012 who got sent back to the past and Jo was the first women he laid eyes on. It’s a very rough first draft so I’m open to all feedback/comments/questions:

Several minutes later found them sitting at the edge of the pond. The water was like glass, but Duke amused himself by skipping rocks across it.
“Let me ask you something,” Duke said, breaking the length of silence between them. “What are you afraid of? Is it me, or all men in general?”
“Who says I’m afraid of men?”
“Just about everyone. You’ve earned quite the reputation as an old maid. And you’re barely thirty.”
She frowned and tossed another stone, more vigorously. “Checking up on me?”
“Not at all. I just see what I see. Picture it, if you will. A handsome, single doctor comes into town, naturally the townsfolk are suggesting women that would be ideal. But he doesn’t hear them because the first lady he sees when he arrives in the new town is the only one he wants.” He paused for effect, letting his words sink in before he continued. “Of course, they try to dissuade him from the lady of his choice because she’s a spinster, an old maid, never been married, what have you. Still, he doesn’t care. He’s intrigued enough to take the risk.”
“Why would he bother?”
“Because he realizes it’s too late to turn back. He’d already fallen for her, and realized he had been from the first time he laid eyes on her.”
Jo felt light headed. She knew he was standing close to her and she closed her eyes when she felt his hands on her shoulders. “You’re worth it,” he whispered in her ear, his warm breath brushed against her skin as his hands slid down her arms.
“Duke…”
His lips were warm and very soft as they travelled up her neck and down again.
“Hmm?”
“We..we should…head back…”
“Not yet. You still haven’t answered my question.”
She swallowed hard and licked her lips as his fingers interlaced with hers. “Wh-what question?”
“Are you afraid of me?”
“God no!”
“Good,” he walked around and faced her. She looked down at his shiny black boots, slim dark pants and white cotton shirt that was open at the neck, showing a hint of chest hair. She really wanted to touch him. She placed her hands on his chest and he covered her hands with his. “I think you are afraid of me. Even if it’s just a little.”
“I…”
He tipped her chin up and she looked at his face. His blue eyes were dark and he was staring into hers intently. Then his mouth closed over hers and his tongue teased her lips until she opened her mouth against his. She whimpered as he deepened the kiss and buried his fingers in her hair.