I’d like someone to critique the beginning of my story, just two pages.
It is a book about a young man, Will, who kills himself after the death of his girlfriend. The story starts with him wandering through a forest to the Acheron River (Styx depending on who your reading). The spirit Ariel guides him to the ferryman’s daughter who, as a favor, brings Will back to life when he expresses regret to the ferryman’s daughter .
Born again he can see all manner of supernatural things. The ferryman’s daughter sends him with Ariel to mental hospital as patients to help “a girl in trouble”…
I would love to help any one too though I just joined the site.