December 25, 2013 at 4:04 pm #3602
I am looking for either a CP or a beta reader for my completed 74K YA historical-thriller. Here’s the summary:
“It’s 1919, and within the tented city of the Marvelle Circus, star aerialist, Laila Vilonia, has just survived a brutal attack delivered by men hired by the rival Benelli Brothers show.
Seventeen-year-old Laila thinks that if her attackers are dead, she can forget what happened to her. So she persuades the sideshow’s notorious headlining act (twin brothers, “The Disappearing Man”) to help her kill them.
In exchange for the twins’ help, Laila aids in the massacre of the Benelli Brothers Circus. And not just for the twins’ sake—Marvelle will soon be sold to Benelli. Laila must play the twins’ twisted game in order to keep her home from falling into the filthy, bloodstained hands of her enemies.
From the greatest show on earth to the cozy little inn where they board for the winter, through sawdust, spotlights, and sweetshops, Laila manipulates her close friends into helping prevent the sale—an endeavor she hasn’t been entirely honest about.”
I don’t have critique experience on other people’s work but I’ve done major revisions and re-hauls on my own. I would not be the best at critiquing fantasy or paranormal.
I’m looking for structural feedback on my MS–what works, what doesn’t–and someone to help bounce ideas and brainstorming with.
Let me know if you’re interested in trading some chapters!December 26, 2013 at 12:54 am #6046
I’m interested. Mine is the second in the Ezra the Dream Traveller series, in which Ezra (13) and Annemarie Nilssen (82) trip back to 1951 to create a scenario in which Ellen, Annemarie’s best friend from pre-War Europe, doesn’t go to work for the CIA and disappear from Annemarie’s life. Unfortunately, the tapestry of time is delicate, and pulling out this thread spirals the world into its end in 1959, by means of global thermonuclear war.
In trying to reset the broken crystal, Ezra and Annemarie (82, year 2013, who is also Annemarie 1944) meets Annemarie 1951, Annemarie 1954, and Annemarie 1959, who is dying of acute radiation poisoning. Time after time, they keep waking up in the smoldering wreck of 1959. Even when they undo their original mistake, they find that the warp of time has come and weft, so they undertake a different strategy.
Let me know if I sound good to you.
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