HI! So I am need some brutal honesty on my synopsis as I am getting ready to self-publish my first book, and I want to know if my synopsis is interesting to pull a reader in. Please be totally honest on whether or not it intrigues you etc. Also feel free to point out other things too. Please keep in mind this is my raw synopsis. Here it is:
The last thing sixteen-year-old Tamin Moon expected to do her junior year was find a locket from the Father she never knew. A locket that would awaken a power inside of Tamin that she never knew she had. A power so great that the unearthly Dellon Society would stop at nothing to possess it.
Little does Tamin know that she is destined to become the next possessor of a great power called the Heaven’s Fire. And that she is destined to join the young Dragon Riders who live to protect Imperial, a world that shouldn’t exist. Now the target of the Dellon Society, and at the center of a war, Tamin must adapt to her new life as a Dragon Rider, and as a citizen of Imperial.
But that’s hard to do when she is falling for the betrothed Blake, the leader of the Dragon Rider’s and her trainer. In a time of war a sixteen-year-old girl is the only thing that can stop the evil forces of the Dellon Society from overtaking Imperial, and raising up an army of the undead. Tamin will have to choose between the life she wants with Blake, and the duty she has to the people of Imperial.
It sounds interesting just be careful of repeating words. You use ‘power’ in back to back sentences. Also mindful of how much information you reveal in your blurb. You want to show just enough to make it seem interesting without giving away the story.