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Seeking CP for Dystopian YA MS

Home / Forums / List of Forums / Young Adult / Seeking CP for Dystopian YA MS

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    I’m currently looking for a critique partner for a fifth draft of a YA dystopian novel set in a futuristic post-epidemic London, of about 52,000 words. I’m looking for a fairly deep critique, with a focus on plot holes and clarity. I am unhappy with my opening at the moment and would value commentary as to whether it would work without it. I am willing to either swap chapters or full manuscript, whichever is easier. The novel is called ALL FOUR FINGERS.

    Adam Sneil is the face of hope, the face of desperation, the face of selfishness and for many the face of death; a reminder of those who died, whether you believe or not. But Aino is the first person to see Adam as more than a face; she helps him to remove his mask.
    But Aino and Adam live in a city wrought with secrecy and fear. Adam’s mother is the leader activist of the Sneil Strategy, whose goal it was to wipe out the terrible disease that had killed so many families. Her methods are cold-hearted and distanced and many have come to hate her.
    Aino’s group of survivors, lost in the grey remains of the Burnt Villages, aim to escape, but they need Adam’s help. Can he leave behind all he has ever known and leave his mother’s plans and all of their followers crumpled in his wake?
    Or maybe nothing ever was how they thought at all.

    If you are interested, please contact me, I am open to reading anything within the YA genre, although I have less experience with gore, Sci Fi or anything horror.




    Hi Roma,

    I’d be interested in swapping critiques with you. I have a full manuscript in need of critique. It’s a YA with a quirky voice that clocks in at 95,000 words. Here’s my synopsis:

    Fifteen-year-old Jane Hale has two hundred and eighty three days left to do something extraordinary, or she’ll need to find herself a new set of parents. She doesn’t have to save the world or anything, mind you, but if she doesn’t give the Hales at least one interesting story to share with their relatives, they’re cutting their losses and trading her in for a less boring daughter.

    That’s where Billy comes in. He’s an awkward hug away from admitting he’s her boyfriend; unfortunately, he’s also addicted to a virtual reality world that’s being terrorized by a villain run amok. It’s simple, really; all Jane has to do is go into the virtual world and apprehend the fiend. In exchange, Billy promises a much-needed new identity.

    Of course, things get considerably less simple when Jane fails in her task . . . and accidentally starts a virtual war in the process. She needs Billy’s help to set things straight, which is rather inconvenient, as he’s managed to disappear from both worlds when things are at their worst. Desperate, Jane is forced to team up with the once-hated villain. They set out on an international mission to bring Billy home, but all they discover is a chilling secret about the virtual world she’s become so fond of.

    And she’ll have just one chance to rescue her boyfriend, save her world, and figure out if being ordinary is really so bad after all.

    Let me know if you’re interested!

    – Janel

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