Looking for a Critique Partner Listings March 15th 2013


I’ve several stories always on the lookout for fresh eyes.
But the one that’s first and foremost is my Paranormal, Golden Dawn. Which has just been rewritten and is now at 50,000 words.

I lean more towards fantasy (epic is my drug of choice) in my reading, though science-fictions and paranormals are welcome. Please, no horror. I’m happy to read both YA and Adult in these genres. I’m more comfortable in critiquing third person povs as that’s what I write in, but I can do first person.
Right now, I am able to do weekly feedback on a chapter by chapter basis.


Herald, eldest son of a bloodthirsty strigoi, endured two centuries of hell before escaping into the human world. He watched, helpless, as his twin brother was murdered by the very villagers his father insists on raiding. Though he has reservations about his father’s human-only diet, Herald has nevertheless devoted all of his 1100 years towards protecting his family from outsiders.

Bewildered by his orders to guard the giant crystal held within the castle, Herald doesn’t expect it to hold the spirit of an angel. She is his father’s failed attempt to gain true immortality. One he cannot be rid of. Breaking the crystal would free her, but the uncontained magic would level their sheltered valley. Herald’s deranged sister doesn’t care. She’d rather risk destruction than let the angel influence another sibling.

When the angel’s continued existence becomes more important to Herald than his siblings, it results in that sister’s death and his banishment. But the angel has taken mortal form in preparation to leave this world and her immortal-gifting blood is free for the taking. Now Herald must decide whether his true loyalty lies with his family or his heart. Either choice will demand death. Only the right path will ensure the life taken is not his.


Hello! Let me tell you a little about my story, and then what kind of partner I’ll work best with:

My novel (100,000 words at last draft, might end up a bit shorter) is a YA novel set in another world, which technically would make it high fantasy, but the story is told in a more contemporary tone than many in the genre.

It’s a story about a young woman who thinks she has no choice about where her life is going: marriage to a fantastic-on-paper man she’s not sure she loves, popping out as many kids as she can to support her nation’s failing population, life in the city, and just maybe a cure for the headaches that have plagued her since childhood. Everything is turned upside down the day she accidentally saves the life of a sorcerer who is one of her people’s most feared enemies, and she learns that nothing– not her people, not magic, not even herself– is what she thought. And that’s just the first 5 chapters…

There’s danger, adventure, love (and the physical display of such, a little), murder, dancing, dragons… but I promise that it all makes sense together. Just a warning, there is some violence, and talk about children and babies dying, if you’re sensitive to that.

So… What I’m looking for is someone interested in reading over my current draft when it’s finished, either as I get it done or when it’s finished in the next few months. I’ve had positive reactions to my last draft, but I thought it could still be better. I’m the kind of person who wants to know the things that my partner finds confusing and the things that don’t work, but we’ll get along better if constructive criticism is mixed in with observations on what you think IS working. Yes, I need thicker skin, I know.

As for what I can offer to a partner, what do you need? I can do critiques on story, characters, etc. in broad terms or in detail. I’m a great cheerleader and enjoy encouraging other writers. I’m an avid reader, and like to think I have a decent eye for grammar, sentence structure, and dialogue, even if I couldn’t tell you what a dangling participle is if I had one hanging out of my nose. I’d prefer to work on a complete work so that I can critique the story as a whole as well as on a chapter-by-chapter level, but I’m really flexible.

I’d be interested in exchanging a few chapters with people to see if we’d be a good match; if we’re going to trade work, I’d like to know that I’m interested enough in a story to offer it my best (and that goes both ways, of course!)

Thanks for reading my ramble.


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